07/27 For Today

“he who is being carried does not realize how far the town is”

there is much to be said for self-responsibility. it’s what separates those of sane, mature character and integrity from those who are self absorbed, immature, irresponsible and selfish. whether or not it seems like it from the outside, for a good part of my life, i’ve held most of the later character traits. it is true that past events have shaped the person i am (literally) but my choices are what define me. sadly, many of my life choices have been weak and cowardly, using the blame game as an excuse for poor outcomes. i’m an adult now, and have been for many years of those poor choices, there is no one to blame any more but me.

in life, there is no ‘trying’ to do better, no ‘trying’ to be better… no ‘trying’ to eat well and exercise, etc…. i am either doing it, or i am not doing it. to take the harshness out of this perspective on my self, i’ve learned to accept my past inaction, there is no changing that lack of participation in my own life. also, i realize that berating myself for all that does me no good. accept it for what it was/is, what ever. it is today’s choice to do or not do that concerns me. and understanding that my ‘doing’ doesn’t need to be perfect is key. any movement off the couch of life (literal and metaphorical) is better than none.

for today, i’m grateful for a way of living that requires action to be successful; one that allows me to have hope and faith that my choices will affect the definition of what and how i am for the better. for today, i understand that even with addictive and compulsive tendencies, i am responsible for what i do and how i approach my day. so whether i counteract the negative aspects of myself or am proactive in surfacing the better aspects of myself, those are the choices – not other people’s opinions or judgements – that define me.

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~ by ghyllee mahree on 2015/07/27.

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