Cocktails as a Crutch (30 days of writing: day 3)

#writeyourselfalive

 

When I saw this it was a slap in the face.  Not a hard slap mind you, but a ‘here’s a little something to ponder”.  It’s not anything I don’t know, honestly, but understanding how different my attitude toward social functions is whether I’m in my cups or not at this particular juncture in life really got my attention.

Don’t get me wrong either, because I am a happy drunk, the happiest even, on occasion.  I love everyone, will speak to every and any person who is in my party path.  My hope in that regard is that alcohol brings out a true version of myself.  That would be good news in itself, right?  The thing is, it is not my drunken condition that concerns me so much as the standards for life and living that are lowered in the face of it; that I become SO easy going that ANY thing goes.  This is not a good condition.

I’m all for freedom, but not if it requires social lubrication to achieve.  Their is a falseness in that slick crutch of alcohol that makes me uncomfortable.  How are words and deeds in such a state authentic then?  If I’m shy or introverted as a sober person, then I must accept that as my authentic center or work past it AS a sober person, without using alcohol as a social lubricant.

There is a place and time in my life for enjoying a cocktail or glass of wine, or at least I hope there is.  I’m just not down with imbibing being born out of a ‘need to’ situation.  I will be keeping my eye on the feelings around coming social events and vet the motivations around alcohol intake.  Truth is, I have enough disabilities without creating false ones.  Cocktails as a crutch is not a circumstance I want to encourage as I continue my journey.

 

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~ by ghyllee mahree on 2014/08/03.

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