prompt: Who Am I?

She came awake without experiencing a shift between sleep and consciousness.  There was no enjoyable, cozy blur between the two where her mind shifted and stretched until it was fully aware.  That was a feeling she’d been missing for several days, those cozy, self-snuggling moments between sleep and real life.


It was the pills.  They took some things and added in some things, not all of them pleasant.  Not any of them pleasant, to be honest, but at least she hadn’t seemed to feel anxious about their serious lack of money the night before.  She was so stress free, she had noted it.  Was all the negative worth that one positive?  Too soon to tell maybe.


She hoped her body would adjust to the medication soon, or at the very least she’d become accustomed to the sensations the tiny white thing brought with it; a slight fog – more like a heavy mist – surrounding her brain as if its deepest recesses were a natural water feature, cool and still; or a niggling ache on the outer reaches of her brain – more noticeable when she was alone, easily distracted from; or a strange and brand new, low key anxiousness of falling asleep, only evident when she lay with eyes closed in bed, a subtle fear that her dreams would be full of entirely new monsters – a little pill that even Alice wasn’t warned about; or those few minutes of weirdness under her skin – somewhere amongst the flesh and bone – of fluttering.  She guessed that fluttering was the time released dose that had been holed up within her for about twelve hours, a dose she gave up having a choice about.  There was no thought about handing over that control, just a hope that the trade would be worth it.


She had slept though, for some hours, a bit fitful, but thankfully without  remembering if her dreams were monsterful or not.  Maybe when she got dozy later she’d take a nap.  Either way, she was up for her day now, sipping tea and doing some introspection, deciding if this would be a good day or not.  She thought it might be.





~ by ghyllee mahree on 2014/08/01.

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