Cultivating a Buddha Brain…

a zen chuckle

Quit wanting anything… that’s the trick. 

And learning to be present in each moment will go a long way toward that I think.

Living in the past..  Rehashing, Regurgitating, Regretting.  Wishing things could have been different, gone a better way or another path.  Wanting better results when there is no way to go back and change anything.

Living in the future..  The Big Lie, a waking dream, a waste of worry and/or wonder.  What one minute brings after another is anyone best guess.  Wanting things to turn out a particular way is fine to a point.  It just never seems to end up that way, and so I’m disappointed.

How does one live aware of and in tune with each moment?

Being conscious might help. 

First order of business, Meeting Daily Needs; get rest, get fed, get hydrated while avoiding physical and emotional exhaustion as well as avoiding intoxication of all kinds.  This won’t be easy for me. . 

Second order of business, Stop Expecting Too Much of People; I need to quit doing this right now.  It’s a form of wanting that always leads to disappointment.  Hell, expecting anything at all usually ends in some sort of painful disappointment.  Varying degrees of it, sure, but why set myself up for more pain.  It’s not fair to me, and it’s not fair to them.

Yeah…  I need to address that more.  We’re all individuals, right?  And if I’m so fucked up it is totally not fair – and not a little hypocritical – of me to expect someone else to be doing better at life.  Doing it the way *I* think it should be done when I can’t even do that for myself.  And I’m always hurt when they don’t perform ‘as expected’ or ‘as desired’.  To be fair I’m hurt when I can’t manage a decent life performance either, hence the perpetual self medication – such a vicious cycle. 

So where does this leave me for today?  Well.. I can be glad I got some writing done on it.  Writing things down always makes them stick, at least for me.  And to stop wanting a spa day would be good too.  A couple of hours of soaking in a hot tubble bath, primping and reading and snoozing and meditating.  Yeah, quit desiring that which is impossible.  Oh the pain!  *sigh*


~ by ghyllee mahree on 2011/03/24.

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